Sunday, 13 March 2011

I've reached that age, where people I haven't spoken to in a long time can't help but ask, So Haych, when you getting married? Actually, people I speak to regularly ask me the same question as well.  My response, usually an awarkd erm, followed by "when Allah wills". However, I do have firm faith, that Allah shall arrange the marriage when He wills. Yes, i used the word "arranged", as i am a strong believer that all marriages are and should be arranged... Allah of course!

Most of my contemparories are married.  Some are evening expecting kids now.  But I can't help but feel a little bit of sadness at thier insensitivity to those (me) who aren't married. Is it my fault that I amn't married?  Their adoration of their husbands, and kids (if applicable) in front of someone who isn't married (and you know is looking and going through issues in finding a decent guy) is a little insensitive.  My mother mentioned to me once that when a widow is present, never, ever, glorify your husband to her or in front of her as naturally, it will deeply hurt her.  I think the same is applicable in cases such as my own. 

Therefore dear sisters that are married, before you start singing the praises of your husband (usually it's just the newly weds still going through the honeymoon period) please be considerate to those of us who are not married. And most especially considerate to those who have passed the honeymoon stage and are wondering if they ever went through it themselves.

Love and duaas,


  1. wow...well put sis. its true. I mean I'm not sorry that I'm not married, but I do wish I was (if that makes sense) like you, I believe that my time will come when it comes. On the same topic, I have distanced myself away from most of my married friends because when we all get together and single me is there its a bit challenging to look not bothered when they are all talking of their husbands, married lives, in-laws, cooking and cleaning etc when I have not yet gone through the same things. Its almost alienating.

  2. Asalamu alayk sis.
    Generally - this stems from a lack of empathy we have for one another - and this isn't just related exclusively to marriage.
    When Allah blesses us with something - we either gloat, or if we don't gloat, take it for granted rather than appreciate it.